The Funeral: Day 2

So, remember how I said I was an angel? White lie. I mean, like, I tried to be.

That counts for something, right?

I followed my parents to the funeral home. They handed the dress over to a man, as well as a recent picture of me.

I watched as he carefully put the dress on my body.

Awkward, to say the least.

Seeing myself, days after my death…its all feeling real now.

I can’t come back. There’s no rewind button on death. It’s officially over.

My parents are inconsolable, I wish I could comfort them. If only I could just somehow let them know that everything is okay and that I’m still here.

Still trying to figure out how I died, no one will talk about it. I’m so confused.

My parents were the first to see me.

They chose a lavender colored dress. Everything was perfect, the makeup, the dress.

I looked like I was just peacefully sleeping.

My dad silently wept, and my mother was crying so hard, she was struggling to catch her breath.

I heard my dad whisper, “Why?” as he stared at me.

But why what? Why did he say why?

People started arriving to the funeral home.

Cousins, Aunts, family members I hadn’t seen since I was a child. All of a sudden, they wanted to see me.

It’s odd, ya know?

People just showing up to your funeral, with flowers. Crying.

Where were you when I was alive? Why all of a sudden do you care about me now?

The fake bitches arrived like clockwork as well as the demon who broke my heart.

He looked tired and weak. Like he hadn’t slept for days. Maybe he has feelings after all? Or maybe he was pretending, something he does oh so well.

I don’t understand.

The priest spoke comforting words about life after death. He told everyone I was in heaven, looking from the clouds, happily.

Little do they know, IM FUCKING STUCK HERE! AT MY OWN GODDAMN FUNERAL.

This shit is so depressing man.

Anyways, at the end of the service people began walking to the podium to talk about memories they had of me.

Oh, boy. In my head I’m thinking, “Please keep it PG people.”

Ferdy got up and began talking about the time we met. He said. “She was made of sunshine. Everywhere she went, she made people laugh with her sarcastic humor. I wish she was here.”

Wow. No one has ever said something so sweet about me, well that I know of.

My heart sank.

What I would give for a do-over.

What I would give to tell the people I care for most, exactly how I feel about them.

Even the demon…

He swept me off my feet. You probably won’t understand me if you’ve never had your heart shattered.

I was consumed. Fell in love after the first date. I thought he was magical.

Everything about him was beautiful. His smile, laugh, personality, the way he talked and walked.

I wanted to spend every second with him, always.

It just wasn’t meant, I guess.

It amazes me how someone can make you feel so many emotions and speak beautiful words that leads you to believe that they love you, but all the while, they don’t feel how you feel.

I fell in love with a mirage.

He always told me, “We’re in this together, I’m right by your side through it all.”

Then when the going got tough, he showed his true colors. Broke my heart and left me to pick up the pieces, alone.

I was never the same after that. It was like there was a dark cloud over my head, following me everywhere.

The service ended, and the reception was held at the home I grew up in.

So, now I’ll share my deep, dark secret with you all.

Before the demon, there was someone else. I didn’t care for him. I guess you could say, I was just bored and lonely.

He was a friend of my dad and he was married.

I’m not proud of it. Never meant for it to happen. He led me to believe he was in the process of getting divorced, but later I found out the truth.

I swear, all the men in my life have disappointed me in one way or another.

I guess my karma is death?

Or am I in hell for the adultery I committed?

Wouldn’t God understand that men lie? I didn’t know he was still married.

Why am I always the bad guy?

I hope I don’t spend eternity here. 

I mean since I’m basically a fucking ghost, there should be others like me, right?

WHERE THE FUCK ARE ALL THE OTHER DEAD PEOPLE AT?

FML, 

Dead girl talking